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@Shh182: I didn't fart, I flirted. That was a flirt!
*runs away flirting*
@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.
@_davidlucas_: An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette.
@Travon: Flight attendant: "will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?"
In my head: "No we're all gonna die"
@gf3: me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows
*gingerly taps banana*
@70Ceeks: I undo his overall strap & slide it off a barely perceptible shoulder. I pull his steel work goggle down around his "neck"
"BanaNA" he moans