The guy who created Virgin airlines probably didnt go to high school otherwise he would have called it “shes probably lying airlines”.
I didn’t take my husband’s name when I got married. I figured it’d be confusing if we were both called Keith.
You Might Also Like
There is absolutely nothing to stop your dentist from putting small tracking devices in your mouth. How would you know. You wouldn’t
Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess.
Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy.
[looking up at bird sitting in a tree whilst on 1st date]
“I didn’t know birds could climb trees”
A key difference between keeping a cat & chimp as a pet, is a cat will eat your face off when you die. But chimps lack that kind of patience
That hot guy you see on the train every day with headphones on? Imagine….imagine if he was listening to a podcast. Not so hot now is he?
You’re trying to get me drunk aren’t you?
Me to myself
I was worried about being overdressed for a Walmart run, but I spilled my dinner on my shirt, so I’m good now.
I thought I was a decent driver, but while I was driving my 7-year-old comforted her crying baby sister by saying, “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.”
Hey baby, I’m like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don’t have any electricity