@pleasantchime: I do so love when I’m not on twit for a few hours and when I come back there’s something that everyone’s alluding to and I get to slowly piece together what happened like I’m reading the log on an abandoned ship
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@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...
@MsanthropyVani: Them: Help! A poisonous snake bit me! Me: oh shit. Umm. So. The word you're looking for is venemous. Don't feel bad, it's a common mistake.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: As a girl who grew up with an annoying little sister the most unrealistic thing about Frozen is how Elsa never tried to kill Anna on purpose