@Staggfilms: I don’t care what anyone says, I still think Malaria is a beautiful name for a little girl
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@JoParkerBear: *phone rings 15: I hope it's him! *phone rings 25: hope it's about the job *phone rings 35: (handing phone to stranger) i died. tell them
@jjhartinger: Hubs: Columbus discovered America not asking for directions so why do I. Me: He set out for India and went the wrong way. Hubs: Oh. Me: Yep.
@sarahgkirby: why don’t grocery stores participate in black friday?? i don’t need 20% off a flatscreen - give me half price tide pods and $1 coffee creamers and then you better believe i’ll be at the doors at 3am
@chrissyteigen: i have a very sore throat & your suggestion of a shot of whiskey only helped in the way that i no longer care about my extremely sore throat