@diarrhea i think a group of white people should be called a brunch.
You Might Also Like
@diarrhea 
@Darlainky Last night the Ghosts of Halloween Past, Present and Future visited me and all had the same message: Don’t eat 5 bags of Reese’s Pumpkins again this year.
@robotrowboat Wolverine’s mom: If you’re going out take your brother with you
Wolverine: But Mom he’s so weird
Listerine: Nothing weird about fresh breath
@kelkulus India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That’s a heck of a place to put a call centre.
@iwearaonesie a fun thing to do if your wife leaves her fb open: post an argument you had but switch who said what and watch her friends agree with ‘her’
@ArfMeasures [Stranded after plane crash]
ME: We need to choose which one of us to eat firstGUY: But why, pacifically?
ME: Ok I’ve made my choice
@Ray_stephan Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
@TheAlexNevil Fried chicken is unhealthy, especially for the chicken.
@bea_ker “And, as we commit our brother Whack-A-Mole to the earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…”
*another coffin slowly rises behind him*
@TheTweetOfGod The Walking Dead is Jesus’s favorite show.