PSA for campus drivers
I don’t have any kids but I am a proud father of a food baby right now.
You Might Also Like
YOU (trying to insult me): I bet you’re fun at parties
ME (insulted but the wrong way): I am not! How dare you
The next person to take my tweets seriously is getting $500
*steals someone’s soul*
*steals someone’s mate*
*Creates a soulmate*
Me: I’ve found a needle in the haystack! Only took 3 hours.
Her: no this is a 3/4 inch, I need a 5/8’s.
Me: *begins searching again* you really need a better place to store these.
Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.
I call a spade a “spade.”
I also call a horse a “horse” and a pencil a “pencil.”
When it comes to calling things by their names, I am no one to be trifled with.
Me: Shout out to all my homies!
Homies: Stop shouting at us.