I don’t know if this is a bacon bit or a scab, but either way it’s delicious.

You Might Also Like


My one and only plan to get rich is to short Nintendo stock just before the internet finally decides that Italian stereotypes are racist


i asked my 4 yr old niece if she wanted a baby brother or sister and she replied she just wanted pizza rolls



HotGirl: Help me ace the Periodic Table test tomorrow?

Nerd: Selenium Neodymium Neon Tungsten Darmstadtium

HG: ?

N: SeNd NeWDs


customer: can we get a plate a fries for the table

me (first day as a waiter): ahh i don’t think we’re allowed to feed the tables

boss: can i talk to you for a sec

me: what’s up

boss: you’re doing a great job. i want those tables to suffer


MAGICIAN: Is this your card?
ME: Oh my gosh yes!
MAGICIAN: It’s been declined. Do you have another way to pay the deposit for your kid’s party?


“You are what you eat” I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance


I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’


Prince Harry tasted seasoned food and was like I knew there was more to life than this monarchy


Boss: You should have been here at 7.
Me: Ohhhhhhh! What happened at 7?