@TheCatWhisprer

I don’t like Haiku because you have to do poetry AND math.

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@stats_canada

66% of Canadians were unimpressed with “The Revenant”, or as it’s known in Canada, “Pretty Average Day”

@stonedcognition

These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I’m going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross.

@Ygrene

Early Bird: *gets worm*

Late Bird: *snacking on Doritos*

Early Bird: SONOFA

@Kauaibride

diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.

@piddle_fart

“Hey baby, what dat mouff do?”

It eats. It eats a lot. That’s what.

@illTortuga

I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.

@SSDated

Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!

@Jake_Vig

Seems a lot like 2021 keeps asking, “What would 2020 do?”