I don’t need armpits that smell like fruit salad or “sexy intrigue”. I exude that naturally.

The fruit salad smell. Not the sexy intrigue.

You Might Also Like


Want guests to leave early? Don’t give them your WiFi password

You’re welcome


What they’re actually saying is “I can’t even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]”


I heard somebody refer to “The Shape of Water” as “Grinding Nemo” and I’m never going to get over it.


CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child.

FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers.


It’s a doge eat doge world out there. Such cutthroat. Very survival of the fitter


guy at seaworld: “it’s a cross between an eel and a shark, we’re asking everyone to pick a name for him”
wife: “steve”
me: “sharkeel o’neal”


Just when I thought my house couldnt smell any worse, my daughter has decided to have deviled eggs for lunch every day. Pray for us.


If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.