@Darlainky

I don’t think mall Santas should be allowed to have fake beards. Like come on Man, you’ve got one job!

I don’t think mall Santas should be allowed to have fake beards. Like come on Man, you’ve got one job!

- @Darlainky

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4-year-old:

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HER: I asked if you were a “people” person

ME: ohhh…definitely not

@GoodZiIIa

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Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

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@prawn_meat

if you get caught speeding and a cop asks you “where’s the fire” you can just make up an address. they don’t have a list of current fires.

@AnOrangeSNES

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NARRATOR: He could see me
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