Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions
Me: *raises hand*
Teacher: i just said, no stupid questions
Me: *lowers hand*
I don’t think Nyquil knows what cherries taste like!
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Yeah, if Albert Einstein is so smart then why is he dead?
my husband’s quarantine amazon cart: – fruit and vegetable seeds
– toilet paper
– educational toys for the kids
my quarantine amazon cart:
– four (4) horse masks
– a theatrical quality replica of elsa’s dress from frozen 2
– a lifesize cardboard cutout of richard madden
If you’re 6’5” tall and drop something, I imagine you just keep walking, like “yeah, THAT’s gone now…”
Local Singles 2.9 Miles From Your Area
Local Singles 3.7 Miles From Y..
“no dont leave”
Local Singles 7.8 Mile
I’m not sure what my husband is planning on doing for me on Mother’s Day but I hope it’s laundry.
*Sets cellphone ringtone to sound like office fire alarm
*calls cell phone
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
“To keep their nuts dry.”
(Please don’t leave me. I was dropped on my head as a baby.)
Just said, “Because I said so!,” and my mom called demanding her royalty check.