@elmulino

I don’t think people outside of England understand that the “it’s coming home” thing was a joke at first because we had no hope but it actually might be coming home and now we don’t know what to do with ourselves

You Might Also Like

@Importantest

I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over.

@hippieswordfish

absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh

@mommajessiec

[in the bedroom]

Husband: Close your eyes. I’m going to do something you’re really going to enjoy.

Me: Okay.

H: *takes the kids and leaves for the day*

@TeaAndCopy

Me: Excuse me, where’s the rowing boat equipment?

Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.

Me: …

Employee: …

Me: Or you’ll what?

@BoogTweets

Me: *Being strip searched*

Cop: The dancing really is not necessary