@TheAlexNevil: I don't trust a restaurant that advertises "Now with more bacon!" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with.
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@ericsshadow: My doctor told me, "If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat" and that was the best day of my life.
@Book_Krazy: "I Got a new dress for date night!" Hub: Thats sexy! I like the zipper going down the front *winks* "This is the garment bag you idiot"
@PleaseBeGneiss: Me: there’s a swarm of beets outside Her: you mean bees? [loud thud on the window] Me: get the gun