I don’t understand “standing desks.” Why take away the only good thing about a desk?

You Might Also Like


My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can’t love her back. It’s nice when problems resolve themselves.


[first day as a beekeeper] my pockets really hurt


Date: Your eyes look beautiful in the moon’s light.

Me: Awww.

Date: *leans in for a kiss*

Me: The moon doesn’t make light, stupid.


her: Say something nice to me.
me: Your friend is like, a ten.


Me: Always follow the science.
Also me: Thunders comin’, I can feel it in me noggin.


Calling bullshit on news that the Amazon is burning. I just got a package delivered from them today


HEATH: I’m more “Heath” than you’ll ever be!

HEATHER: You wanna bet?


My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She’s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don’t negotiate with terrorists.


For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don’t even want it in my garbage.