If you’re ever in a room where a doll should happen to come to life it would be prudent to leave that room
“I don’t want to make a spectacle…”
Eye glass manufacturers last day on the job.
You Might Also Like
I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that’s super easy for me to remember:
Moaning “Oh God” on a Sunday morning is the closest I’ll get to church
Nintendo say they are protecting children from inappropriate language online by making their voice chat app so bad that nobody will use it
Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.
INTERVIEWER: We’re looking for a real cat person.
ME: *slowly pushes paperwork off desk*
INTERVIEWER: holy shit
The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn’t worth life in jail.
I’m not a mechanic so I don’t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
me: one coffee please
barista: one coffee, got it. and how do you take it?
me: *suddenly nervous in the face of such a simple question * w-with my hands
Shaggy: look out, it’s a gh-gh-gh-ghost!
Fred: there’s no such thing as ghosts
Scrappy Doo, a literal talking dog: yea shaggy