I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. I bet they could afford a house if they werent drinking money all the time.
I drink Rockstar cause I’m a rockstar. My wife drinks Monster.
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condom commercials should just be a live-feed of couples trying to enjoy a decent meal at a restaurant with their kids
Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
My wife got an organic, free-range, non-GMO, antibiotic-free turkey for Thanksgiving — and every one of those adjectives added 20 bucks.
All You Need Is Love. And an IQ low enough to believe that.
How’s the parenting going over here?
My youngest just told my oldest to “GET IN THE DAMN CAR!”
Top five movies that could
easily have been about @ ‘ers :
-One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes
Honey, your skirt is so short that your STD is showing.
I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to get my charger in my phone. I’m embarrassed & I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.