*Dolphin accidentally dials fax number
Dolphin:Well, I don’t normally do this. But yes I’m free tonight
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Goodnight everyone except the guy who invented that thing that shows that you are typing something
Having been married for awhile, I’m out of touch. Is it ok to date several guys or just one at a time? I asked my husband, he just got pissy
Me: WHO PUT THE EMPTY MILK BACK IN THE FRIDGE?
Me: YOU LIVE ALONE
Not to brag, but my car now gets 3 months per gallon.
Doctor: are you sexually active?
Me: why, what have you heard?
Captcha: Click on every photo of a real tunnel
Wile E Coyote: oh no
interviewer: any interests outside of work
me: war and space documentaries
mom: he means star wars
me: mom stay in the car
My one night stand is pissed because I broke the other one.
They told me it was love at first sight during their divorce proceedings.
– Reasons why I drink