@SaxMouse: I feel like all bears are Bad News Bears. I've never seen a bear and was like "Oh, he looks like he has good news for us, lets stick around"
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@iamrandomape: [job interview] BOSS: biggest weakness? ME: I never know when to quit BOSS: that's ok, ur hired ME: I quit
@Beakmoo: Last time I saw my boyfriend he was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say he vanished into Finnair.
@gruffybeard: Counselor: Why do you resent your wife Me: She made me get out of line for Springsteen tix C: Why M: Something about her water breaking
@longwall26: Just a reminder that your coworkers aren't going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.