@SaxMouse: I feel like all bears are Bad News Bears. I've never seen a bear and was like "Oh, he looks like he has good news for us, lets stick around"
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@trevso_electric: I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?
@ShortSleeveSuit: DATE: do you want kids? ME [looking around]: *whispers* i mean i guess so, did you bring some?