@shanethevein: I feel melancoll, meloncholl, melancholl, meloncholy, you know what, I'm good.
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@my_minivan_life: Just told my two kids that I love them both equally and the one with his shoes on the wrong feet totally bought it.
@DoubtTommy: how much morning wood, would my girlfriend suck, if she ever sucked and if I had a girlfriend. Whatever.
@WheelTod: Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one.