@MissNaughty1801

I feel that it’s time to pick the kids up from school..so I’m going to lie down here for a while and wait for that feeling to pass

You Might Also Like

@Darlainky

It’s like my whole life is just one horrendous karaoke song choice after another.

@PanicRestroom

I wonder if the username “That Cab” is free, cause a lot of people would want to follow “That Cab”

@L8yK8y

Throwing it back to 3 weeks ago today, when I came home for lunch…and I’m still here.

@pinupteacher

All I’m saying is God wouldn’t have given me this wild hair if he didn’t want me to store stuff in it.

*baby hedgehog peaks out*

@IGotsSmarts

“Stop pointing at my daughter!” – Kanye West yells at a compass.

@carterhambley

“you changed, bro” yeah no shit i’m a cockroach. please help me out of bed

@plantandmineral

today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle

@Reverend_Scott

You see two puppies.
“Awwwww!”
But they’re cannibal puppies!
“Ahhhhhhh!”
One puppy eats the other!
“Ewwwww!”
Then he takes a nap.
“Awwwww!”

@1followernodad

Jaws is exceptionally funny if you just imagine the shark is trying to be friends with the guys on the boat and they keep running away.

@goldengateblond

Kids today don’t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.