@MissNaughty1801: I feel that it's time to pick the kids up from school..so I'm going to lie down here for a while and wait for that feeling to pass
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Parkerlawyer: People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail.
@gwatts77: 9 yo: Hey dad, where is the rest of that ladies bikini? Me: That is actually called a G-string, son. 9: Oh, does the "G" stand for gross?
@bridger_w: For a moment I thought it was Saturday, but then I realized it's actually Sunday. The good news is now I have a story to tell at parties
@ArfMeasures: SON: What's a sex tape? ME: Er well when er a man & a woman have er intercourse they S: No M: No? S: Dad. I know what sex is. What's a tape?