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@SpacePlankton: I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30.
Use protection, young people.
@MattMcC1: 2032. Predictive Text has been perfected. You idly check in on your lunch break to see what you & your best friend have been chatting about.
@fro_vo: *gets naked*
*doesn't get why they don't rhyme*
@pleatedjeans: I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies
@iGreenMonk: There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is.
Here's how it works :-
If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you.
@Freudianscript: I need to start paying more attention when i'm talking to myself.