If you blast Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is”, the naked old guys in the gym locker room cover up pretty damn quick.
I finally figured out the moral of Beauty and the Beast: Sure,Gaston had good looks. But the Beast had shitloads of money.Good choice, Belle
You Might Also Like
Well tonight’s date night for me and the wife
I certainly hope we don’t run into each other
guru: life is intertwined, from you & i, to birds & trees
me: yes sensei
guru: theres an ancient story of an old man who sought to become one with nature
me: did he succeed, sensei?
guru: turned himself into a pickle. he was like “im pickle rick.” funniest shit ive ever heard
According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.
Enhanced interrogation idea:
If waterboarding isn’t working, try having my mother brush their hair.
HIM: we’re under the mistletoe
HER: oh yes
HIM: you know what that means
[both draw swords and begin to duel]
[2 T-Rex’s getting drunk]
“Me too. You know how bad?”
“Don’t say it again.”
“I can’t feel my face.”
Looking through 15’s yearbook:
Me: you’d crack up looking at my high school yearbook from 1995.
8: did they have color pictures back then?
[my gf on her death bed]
I don’t know, what do you want to eat?
Me: The house is a disaster. We all need to clean.
8-year-old: Who’s coming over?
Me: No one. We’re cleaning for us.
8: But we already know we live like this.