Kid: Would you like to buy me this candy bar or watch me have a Stage 5 meltdown in front of a bunch of strangers who are quietly judging your parenting?
I finished 3 books today. Believe me, that’s a lot of coloring…
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Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Schrödinger: Nice, nice
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Pizza is an emotion right?
*me, at the bank, looking around in child-like wonderment*
so, this is where my 12 dollars lives
Check out this list number 5 is awesome.
16: If you could pick your own pronouns, what would they be?
Me: Well, I can and I choose cheesecake.
16: Cheesecake isn’t a pronoun.
Me: Yes, but everyone loves cheesecake.
16: Exactly, pick something else.
If life had a ‘CTRL + ALT + DEL’ option, you bet your ass I’d be hitting that thing about 14 times a day.
Van Gogh: “Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today.”
Gauguin: “Pics, or it didn’t happen.”
[van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]
New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can’t keep him 🙁 He’s ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT.