@Darlainky: I forgot the word “memorial” so I called it a dead person shout out.
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@RocketRankoon: You've won this round supervisor, but accidentally leave your Ok Cupid profile open one more time and you'll be a transgender time traveler.
@SaraThomas84: The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
@NOTVIKING: here are my new year’s resolutions: • start going to the gym every day • cut out sweets • take some acting classes • get that tattoo of an eye removed from my ankle • marry violet in an attempt to secure the baudelaire orphans’ immense fortune
@Social_Mime: If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself.