@goodhairperson: I forgot the word "torch" earlier today so I googled "fire on a stick." I have two degrees in English.
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@ddsmidt: X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...
@XplodingUnicorn: My 6-year-old walked into the room and said, "Don't worry, Dad. I'm OK." Time to search the house for whatever she destroyed.
@shawnspree: Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34.