@MAB1013: I gave myself whiplash. It couldn't be helped. Bohemian Rhapsody came on, and my kids weren't gonna teach themselves how to head bang.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jctwritesstuff: That face-melting Nazi guy in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' but it's just my makeup the second I step outside in the summer.
@vikkaroni: Him: what does a polar bear weigh? Me: I don't know Him: enough to break the ice, my name's John. Me: so's mine.
@julie2288: Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day.
@UNTRESOR: [gets on Facebook] [types "you pushed me away but expected me to stay"] [everyone nods, this is considered extremely good shit on there]