@JasonIsbell: I get a kick out of people who think because I make Americana music I’m supposed to dress like a damn horse repairman or some shit
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@onion_an: [at restaurant on 1st date pretending not to be an eel] Date: The wine is lovely great choice Me: *helplessly slips off chair*
@000___000: "daddy why did the moon turn red?" "because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"
@BoogTweets: (Creating the platypus) God: Make that beaver think a duck is sexy and then they, *hip thrusts* Angel: What? God: You know *hip thrusts*
@kiel_phillips: *Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian