@NikiWithIssues: I got 99 tabs open but my work ain't one.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: [TV detective with a photograph walking into any bar] bartender: *cleaning a glass* yeah I remember that complete stranger, no matter how long ago, how busy we were, or if I even worked here.
@MatthewEPierce: broke: animals can't go to heaven because they don't wait til marriage to have sex woke: u can teach a parrot to say the sinner's prayer, parrots will be in heaven, parrots everywhere
@WilliamAder: Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade.