Them: What’s wrong with you?
Me: *gets them a chair and puts on the kettle*
I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
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Does superman ever go back to get his clothes, or is Metropolis just full of hobos running around in glasses and Clark Kent outfits?
That’s a lot of octopussys to have in a tank.
Oh sorry…that’s a lot of octopussys to occupy a tank.
Can’t believe I’m still writing “-oslovakian” on all my Czechs.
If we all just agree that we’re fine, we’ll never again have to ask each other how we are.
But the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Rule: Grown men should not use “lol” in a convo with another male.
“Oh hello, I didn’t see you there!” – Translation: I have failed to avoid you
My libido: please have sex
My social anxiety: by yourself
Life comes at you fast.