@KentWGraham: I got replaced as Romeo in the high school play because the girl playing Juliet kept stabbing herself in Act I.
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@BoomBoomBetty: Every time I find a new gray hair I text my mother to tell her I’m calling it one of the many grandchildren names she passive aggressively suggested to me over the years.
@existentialcoms: Ten things only 90s people remember: 1. 1990 2. 1991 3. 1992 4. 1993 5. 1994 6. 1995 7. 1996 8. 1997 9. 1998 10. That sound the modems made
@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
@JohnLyonTweets: My family crest is a hand protectively shielding a slice of pie and a Latin motto that translates as "I'm still working on it."