I guess I’m getting old. Now when I hear “Pour Some Sugar On Me” I think of 2 things. Who’s cleaning it up and I hope we don’t get ants.

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don’t smoke pots because they are made of clay and can burn your tongue


It’s not cheating. Or money issues. Leaving drawers and cabinets open is the true test of a marriage.


The glove snap before the prostate exam isn’t necessary. We just do that to mess with you.


So my kid finally stopped falling for the fake throw.


Once accidentally liked an insta of someone I hadn’t spoken to in yrs so I had to like 1/2 her entire feed & reach out abt getting lunch


me *choking*
dog *grabs the sandwich I dropped and brings it to her bed*