Corn mazes should just be called maizes from now on
I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe “space” was just tired.
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Since the summer Olympics got postponed a year, that means I still have time to master ribbon gymnastics.
[on quiz show]
“and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?”
*leans way too close into the microphone*
spend it alex
What did Mozart say to the police clerk? “I’ll be Bach” hahaha. What do you mean they’re different people
My New Year’s resolution is to stop making so many typos.
Wish me lick.
“Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?”
“THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN”
If you sit beside me, you’re part of my drumkit.
I’ve been laughing about this for two days straight.
My doctor said i shouldn’t just binge drink all weekend. I tried taking his advice but can’t drink a bottle of Jack Daniels every day.
I am not a functional alcoholic.
I am a dysfunctional sober person.