@RickAaron: I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.
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@_coryrichardson: [dinner date] date: sorry i’m late! how long have you been waiting me: *grabs waiter* she asked you a question buddy
@FattMernandez: I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is.
@jakob_huber: Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza