@sara_ashlynn: I had an erotic dream last night that my house was clean.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."
@JanineEB4: Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!
@JeremyKCMO: I'm opening a bar called The Office. You're welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I'm at The Office"