@BritXNic: I had some food stuck in my teeth and now I'm an international beatboxing champion.
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@velweb: My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.
@myonlymizztake: Elmer Fudd married Bugs Bunny. Twice. I think they had a better shot than you. - me as a marriage counselor
@PaperWash: *mugger snatching Elsa's purse Elsa: LET IT GO! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: CANT HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: LET IT GO!
@tweetsbyrocket: me: dad how do i get a girl to like me dad: be yourself me: [barely leaving the house and not talking to anyone when i do] why isn't this working