I feel like trying new things in bed. Like getting up for instance.
I had some food stuck in my teeth and now I’m an international beatboxing champion.
You Might Also Like
*pile of dishes in the sink*
*laundry hamper overflowing*
*toothpaste smeared across the sinks*
*toys scattered across the house*
Husband: *leaf-blowing the attic*
A friend is in jail and I can’t help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder.
My kids don’t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
(getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we’re making some people soup huh gang
Just got a paper cut on my webbing so you guys go ahead without me. It’s been fun.
My husband and I make a good team. I’m about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he’s taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
just checked my bank account and all I can say is who wants foot pics
[First date stroll in the park]
Me: So you work at the planetarium?
Me: Thats so cool *points to the sky* What’s that constellation called?
Date: The sun.
High schoolers: You’ve sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?