@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when my husband starts tossing around unnecessary words like "budget" & "shopaholic."
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@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
@onedumbshark: When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.
@goodhairperson: Her hands were garlic breadsticks of action. Her face was a Cesar salad of expression.
@piddle_fart: I've been a girl for 36 years, and I still don't know how to correctly use bobby pins.