@LaniBeno: I hate it when people don't behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head.
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@lincnotfound: her: do you believe in astrology? me: yeah of course stars exist her: no like horoscopes me: ohhh, i use a telescope
@FuckabillyRex: Gave a lady on the bus my seat and then sang Coldplay's Yellow to her and it was so emotional she had to get off at the next stop. ❤
@bobvulfov: when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go