Three seasons into Game of Thrones, and I still can’t figure out why all the characters are named after psychiatric meds.
I hate when I find a show on TV that I like and I start to get into it and then I realize that it’s my neighbor’s window and he looks angry.
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Selfies are just sad reminders that you have no friends willing to take pictures of your face and cleavage.
Society: Be yourself.
Society: No not like that
You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
My liver’s so black, it went to a respected college, got a great job, and made it’s family very proud.
Weren’t expecting that, huh?
Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.
“I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT’S WHAT WE’RE CALLING IT” – Guy who named the sweater.
Uh oh I planned two dates today thinking one of them would cancel and now I have to come up with a lie and quick
Terminator: Come with me if you want to live.
Stop the Internet. I want to get off.