@TheBoydP: I hate when my boss wants to talk politics and asks me things like why isn't your report done and why are you always late?
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@LoveNLunchmeat: I'd like to say the best moment of a woman's life is giving birth, but it's actually seeing an old nemesis & realizing she got really fat.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: I have a condition that I eat when I can't sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nomnia.
@AmericanGent69: David Copperfield: Ok I want everyone in the audience to think of a color. Ready? Ok, is your color grey? Audience full of Dogs: OMG!