I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother.
I hate when people say “you always want what you don’t have” like that’s really insightful and not just explaining the definition of “want.”
You Might Also Like
What did Dr. Dre say when 50 Cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
Now imagine how close together the presidents’ bodies are, under their Mount Rushmore heads.
Who called it a “Monk that can dunk” instead of an “Air Friar?”
dad: where do you think you’re going
me: *caught applying for an art history degree* uh nowhere?
ME: honey, just tap me on the arm tonight if you think I’ve gotten too drunk
WIFE: I’ve been tapping your arm for the last 2 hours
Just gave my next door neighbor a giant bag of candy to dump in my sons trick or treat bucket on Halloween so I can go home after one house.
[stops during sex]
If you spin my fanny pack around, there’s sandwiches in there. Help yourself.
Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald’s pick up an appropriate amount of napkins – you’re cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide
I took 1000 photos of water vapor & uploaded them to the Cloud. Now we wait.