@H0TMessBarbie: I have a nice body. It's out in the trunk.
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@truegritrumble: ME: I don't know if I'm ready for this...emotionally. CHIPOTLE EMPLOYEE: You have to order something or get out of the line.
@LostCatDog: I demand Lisa from high school face me in a public debate about why she made out with Craig when it was MY BIRTHDAY PARTY
@brendohare: Hello. I'm the guy who sleepeats thousands of spiders every year and screws up the average for everyone. Sorry for scaring you.
@noogscorner: Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second.