Just heard a woman ask if she left her teeth over there
Really hoping this is Halloween related
I have an important question about the movie CATS which will ultimately determine whether or not I see it:
At any point in the film does one of the CATS cats sit in a cardboard box that is a little too small for them
You Might Also Like
If your wife makes a comment and you ask “how is that my problem?” It just became your problem.
Pro Tip : Don’t shout at a mate going through airport security “You are the bomb dude, you are the bomb !!”
Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that’s just wine.
therapist: eliminate the negative energy from your life
me: [nods] stop eating vegetables
There’s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Until recently I thought cardi b was a type of sweater.
You know you’re high when you take a hilarious shower.
They said the kids that bullied me in school would be pumping my gas one day but 1 just got a modeling contract who do I talk to about this
[spider walking into first spin class] What’s the deal with the bikes?