I have laryngitis, and my kids have never been happier.

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My hobby is removing unnecessary apostrophes from business signs in the dead of night


Johnny Depp is the best actor ever. You can’t even tell he has scissor hands in Pirates of the Caribbean.


So, apparently, flashing the neighbors at their backyard barbecue doesn’t make it a “gender reveal” party.


Ladies, you want to get a man to leave you alone? Just whisper those 2 magic words: I’m pregnant


Nature fact: The female cat gives birth to the body and head of her kittens separately and has to screw the head in like a lightbulb.


when Jason swung that sleeping bag with a girl in it against a tree in Friday the 13th, I bet for a brief moment the girl was like “wheeee!”