My pappy died in the sea. Not even his old chum could save him. In fact, that’s exactly what brought the sharks in the first place
I have some bad news. I was experiencing some symptoms and got myself checked. It’s as I feared.
I tested positive for being brown.
You Might Also Like
– Designed to stop people
– Can be opened by people
My favorite thing to do at a rock and roll concert is to yell “kiss, kiss, kiss” every time the guitarists stand close together and face each other to riff
my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying “jeff is dead” so they know what the flowers are for
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame that they’ll never meet…
NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE
Waiter: ahem *points to sign*
Me: oh that’s fine, I’m not ordering anything
I warned everyone that I take charades seriously and now three people are crying
The older I get, the less ‘life in prison’ becomes a deterrent.
Coworker: What’s your phone number?
*looks up from phone*
Me: I don’t have a phone.
*looks down at phone*
I’m running on two hours sleep. I can start a fight with air right now.