@TheMichaelRock: I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?
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@Marlebean: I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?
@WilliamRodgers: BREAKING NEWS Justin Bieber said... And I quote, "Only God can Judge me!" THIS JUST IN ...Apparently I'm God.
@ManiacallySound: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding.