As if ” cray cray” wasn’t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to ” cray”….that’s just stu stu
I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower.
Exactly. I’M the idiot in a slasher film.
You Might Also Like
Looks like someone’s been slipping steroids into Garfield’s lasagna again.
Hackers in movies think they’re so cool they can get any password in five mins flat. Well so can I. Just that it’s for my own accounts.
Things Stephen King books taught me to be afraid of:
INTERVIEWER: Tell me one of your weaknesses.
ME: I sometimes mistake professional behavior for flirting.
INTERVIEWER: There is zero chance we’d ever hire someone with that issue.
ME: Listen, I’m flattered, but I’m married.
met a woman in a bathroom line last night who told me she was a writer and I said I was one too and she was like “oh we’re that Spiderman meme” and then we both immediately, instinctively pointed fingers at each other and I’m still thinking about it
A man suffered a heart attack at the drive thru. I quickly Macgyvered a pencil to his electric car & defibrillated him. I was that hungry.
Kill me once. I’m dead.
Kill me twice. I’m a dead ghost.