@sarah1mc: I hope this free massage guy from craigslist is on time.
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@awescar: It's funny how humans are so picky about sex partners and dogs are all, "that smells about right"
@lasergirl70: My dating history is like Halloween. People pretending to be someone they're not come looking for handouts, then move on to someone else.
@samalmightysam: Some people are like water balloons, they're more fun when you throw them out the window.