*Jesus looks over bill from last supper*
“It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver.”
“I got this!” Judas yells, almost too quickly.
I hope this free massage guy from craigslist is on time.
You Might Also Like
Me: I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Dermatologist: As we’ve discussed, the sun doesn’t have feelings and won’t know it’s been blocked.
The Sun: *gasps* that BITCH
Stop fingering it and put it in your mouth is not the best choice of words when speaking to your teenager about her dinner..
I know this now
I just want to find a supplement that takes me back to my 22 year old body, skin, and hair. So magic. I’m looking for magic.
Netflix and Will…
…you stop trying to touch me?
I thought I Kuwait but
then I Saudi Turkey
and my Bahrain was like
Oman I Israel Hungary
aruba, jamaica / oooh, i wanna take ya
atlanta, las vegas/ uhhh that’s lots of places
vienna, then florence/ baaabe i can’t afford this
Before marriage: fantasizes spending life together.
After marriage: fantasizes spending life insurance alone.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004, R): Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.