@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
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@alovablenerd: I was definitely that mouthy preteen girl that told my dad’s girlfriend she’s just a girlfriend for NOW, while I’ll always be his daughter. well, guess what, Brianne? Happy 25th anniversary Tell Dad I said hi
@TheMichaelRock: [first date] me: so what do you do for a living? her: I study foreign languages me[trying to impress her] bone apple tea, moon cherry
@TurboJellyBean: Her:"my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid" Me:"your car doesn't have blinker fluid." Her:"I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"