@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
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@DraggingFeeties: The hardest part of making new friends is weeding out the people who just want to sell you leggings.
@just1fool: Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!
@Tmoney68: [Army Shooting Range] Officer: Are you locked & loaded? Soldiers: YES SIR! Officer: You may fire at will! Soldier Named Will: WTF?