@BatBatshitcrazy: I invented a breakfast calzone this morning, hashbrowns as the double crust with an omelette in the middle. So now I have to marry myself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@buhsbaby_baby: Can I get pregnant from looking at a man in another car, at a red light but then quickly looking away when he looks over?
@AlexvanBeek: Unless: -The house is on fire -The cops are about to kick down the door -Or you're ordering food Do NOT talk to me while I'm on the toilet
@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.
@_little_old_me: I bought a pregnancy test so the cashier who always serves me when I'm by myself in my pjs, buying ice-cream & chips, thinks I have sex.