@robin_991: I just accidentally read “Federal” as “Feral” and it made zero difference to the article.
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@KeetPotato: mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]
@Ygrene: Me: I'm nervous about mingling at the party Wife: Just talk about stuff anyone can relate to [Party] Me: HI I UNDERSTAND YOU TOO ARE HUMAN
@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit